Bring It! Or… Maybe Don’t? Rethinking Strength in Church Leadership

Why gentleness—not force—is the mark of true spiritual leadership.

“He preached a powerful sermon.”

“He was on fire.”

“He was prophetic.”

“Such a dynamic leader—he really gets things done!”

These are the kinds of comments that echo through church vestibules or auditoriums on a Sunday morning. Or, in real-time, we might hear:

“Bring it!”

“Preach!!!!”

“Give it to us, brother!”

We like the strength.

We like the clear lines.

We like the conviction.

We like being called to ever greater commitment to church activities, or hearing the reinforcement of our values.

We might even enjoy joining in the demonisation of the less committed, or feeling reassured that we are not like those people outside. We came to church looking for our outrage top-up for the week—and now we’re going home happy…

Strength.

Power.

Rebuke.

And why not?

After all, Jesus flipped tables and used a whip (John 2:15). He ruthlessly vented at times (Matt 23:13–33).

Paul was known for writing “weighty and forceful” words (2 Cor 10:10), and when really worked up, even advocated the removal of body parts (Gal 5:12)!

So, we have a template.

Or do we?

What Should Communication Look Like in the Church?

What should our tone be?

How should we speak to one another?

What character qualities are actually desirable in our leaders?

Let’s start with Paul.

“By the humility and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you…” (2 Cor 10:1)

Writing to the Philippians, he says:

“Let your gentleness be evident to all.” (Php 4:5)

Paul’s consistent instruction points toward gentleness and patience (Col 3:12; 1 Tim 6:11; Gal 5:23).

But what about leaders?

They need to have the hard conversations—don’t they?

Well, Paul does tell Timothy to “fight the good fight of faith”…

But only after saying:

“Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.” (1 Tim 6:11–12)

And when it comes to leadership qualifications, the bar is high:

“…self-controlled, respectable, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome…” (1 Tim 3:2–4)

Even Jesus described himself as:

“Gentle and humble in heart.” (Mt 11:29)

This is not the image of a megaphone king. This is the image of someone who comes:

“…gentle and riding on a donkey.” (Mt 21:5)

So what about the fire?

Yes, there are heated moments in Scripture.

John the Baptist didn’t mince his words:

“You brood of vipers!” (Matt 3:7, Luke 3:7)

Jesus used the same phrase (Matt 12:34; 23:33).

Peter dedicates an entire chapter to railing against false teachers (2 Pet 2).

Strong language is part of the mix.

But look closely—who’s on the receiving end?

In Matthew 3:7, John is confronting “many of the Pharisees and Sadducees”—religious power players.

The Pharisees had layered oral traditions over Scripture, often using them to distort its true meaning (Matt 15; Mark 7). The Sadducees, with their temple-focused materialism, were another powerful faction.

These were public figures, deeply invested in their version of truth—biblically literate, but ethically hollow.

They could quote Scripture all day, but seemed fine with evicting widows (Mk 12:40), directly violating prophetic teaching (Deut 27:19; Jer 7:6; Zech 7:10).

So on that day when John was preaching repentance, he rebuked those who had no interest in any of that. They were really only there to post something on Instagram.

In Matthew 23, Jesus lays out a list of his listeners’ corrupt practices. They “tie up heavy, cumbersome loads on people’s shoulders” (23:4). They are the ultimate reality TV preachers - everything is for show! (23:5). They like the places of honour at banquets and the respectful greetings in the marketplace (23:6-7). Yet the net result of their ministry is that they “shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces (23:13). They have stolen all the IP, re-written it, and turned the kingdom of God into a self-serving franchise. No wonder John and Jesus got mad.

So when the spoke out, it’s not random aggression.

It’s surgical rebuke against hypocrisy, injustice, and religious manipulation.

The Power of Gentleness

“Gentle” is not the same as “weak.”

“Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle word can break a bone.” (Prov. 25:15)

Gentle can be gentle precisely because it has the confidence that comes from delivering a truthful message. The verbally aggressive are so often using damaging words as covering fire for manipulation or delivering half-truths or worse.

If a message is true, it doesn’t need volume to be heard.

It needs integrity.

So Be Gentle

Be gentle.

Expect gentleness from others—especially your leaders.

They should be setting the tone, not raising it.

Because if the Spirit of Christ is at work in us, then gentleness won’t be a compromise.

It’ll be our strength.